Many of us have firm resolutions for 2023. We’re going to work out more, we’re going to take up a new hobby, learn a new language and we’re going to finally start to save and invest more for our future goals.
The reality is that most of us won’t keep these wonderful resolutions going for very long. There are a number of reasons why:
You’re trying to change your life overnight - this is like trying to climb mount Everest when you’ve never even climbed a steep hill. It’s probably going to be overwhelming and put you off even trying again.
Resolutions are a source of suffering not joy - because you’re trying to make grand changes in short spaces of time you’re taking on what seems like large burdens. The greatest weightlifters started with much lower weights than their record-breaking bests.
No accountability - we’re often afraid of failing more than we’re burning with passion to succeed. This means you keep goals secret - which means no one is there as a reminder and accountability partner. This means a much higher rate of failure. There are good reasons why the best athletes all have a coach.
Reasons why - if you don’t have clear reasons for doing something it’s much harder to find the discipline and motivation to keep doing them. Why do you want to work out more? Why are you trying to save and invest more - is there a goal you have in mind or is it just something you are ‘supposed to do?
And linked to this - goals that are not clearly defined will be harder to reach. If you’re a ship captain and need to reach New York by a certain time - what’s going to help you more: a vague idea that New York is somewhere northwest of you, or a clear map with coordinates that you can work out precisely which direction you need to travel in and for how long to reach the Big Apple?
The way to make resolutions stick is to throw out the idea of a ‘New Year’s Resolution’! Instead, make commitments:
Turn resolutions into commitments - throw out the idea of waiting for the New Year. If you have goals work on them as soon as you can - there’s no reason to wait for the calendar to move forward a year.
Make commitments achievable and therefore enjoyable - milestones you can review your progress and adjust as you get closer to your goal. You move mountains by taking up a pebble at a time.
Don’t keep secrets - have people you are accountable to for the changes you need to make to turn resolutions into commitments and sustainable habits which will see you reach your goals. If you need a personal trainer, a mentor, a financial planner etc. - get one.
Make sure you have a clear reason why - it’s really not good enough to say “I need to get fit” or “I need to save more money” - instead ask yourself what are the consequences of not changing your habits and reaching these goals? Visualise the consequences and then dwell on the kind of life you’ll have if you do reach these goals. Keep this in mind when you’re doing what you need to do to reach your goals.
Goals - Keep written goals for yourself, and make these as clear and observable as possible. You really want specific destinations, not vague locations - make it a city, district and street, not a continent - and work towards it.
Bigger goals should be broken down into manageable chunks - most of us don’t do big, sweeping changes in short spaces of time very well. Humans tend to make lasting changes by making small habit changes over time. This is why waiting for the New Year won’t really make much difference. Get started right away with a few small changes and then keep going!
Get in touch to find out more about making commitments not resolutions, in order to move closer to your life goals.